Tired of the day-to-day grind of attacking Israelis, a Hamas “holy mission” was carried out today in Gaza with satisfying effects, according to a Hamas spokesman.

Two members of the violent terrorist organization were killed in a self-inflicted detonation, according to Palestinian medical personnel on the scene.

I believe they are only attempting to level the playing field, said Dr. Moaiya Hassanain, a Palestinian Health Ministry official, who confirmed the deaths.

The source close to the Hamas leadership indicated that the self-detonation of explosives is a strategic move to bring the Israeli and Palestinian negotiators closer to a resolution on a possible peace initiative.

See, we also kill ourselves! We’re not so bad as everyone says. This terrorist thing is a gross mis-perception.

The Hamas source did express some frustration however regarding the kinds of holy warriors being run through the training camps these days.

We only get mentally disabled recruits these days. I miss the days when we could depend on having recruits who did not prematurely detonate their explosives, not - of course - that this is what happened in this instance. It is only that these new holy warriors tend to become martyrs more quickly than in the old days, or they become prisoners of the Zionist Entity because they are too stupid to understand how to hate our enemy! Not that we hate the Zionist Entity - that’s just a figure of speech. You know, like Jeremiah Wright does.

Due to Hamas security procedures, it is not clear whether the detonations were of Qassam rockets, explosive vests, or the manipulation of Chinese and Russian artillery shells for IEDs. But witnesses in the area did say it was a much smaller boom than they have seen on attacks shown on Israeli TV.